Second Cup Section
The Second Cup represents the plaques or judgements. The head of the household takes up another piece of Matzah and tells the people that "This is the bread of our affliction." It is pointed out how the Matzah is pierced and striped. Since there is no leaven in the flat bread it leaves the bread pierced and striped. Remember Isaiah 53:5? It says: "For He was pierced through for our transgressions and with His Stripes we are healed." A blessing is recited and then everyone eats of the Matzah bread. Next is the Maror. The Maror is the dipping of the bitter herbs. A piece of Matzah is dipped into horseradish, enough to bring tears to the eyes. Everyone eats the Maror together after more recitation and blessing.
The Charoseth (this is the good stuff, sweet) is taken next. The Charoseth is a mixture of apples, nuts, and grape juice (or wine) that signifies the mortar the Israelites used while in bondage to Pharoah. The sweetness of the Matzah dipped in the Charoseth helps one to look at the joy in the midst of the troubles., "for the redeemed have both His promise and His presence (Nadler, p.11)."
The Baytsah is the egg or Haggigah. This recalls the fact that Temple sacrifices no longer exist. As mentioned in the Haggadah, " the egg is round, endless, like life eternal coming out of bondage is like being brought back from the dead. For our redemption, Messiah was raised from teh dead. The redeemed of the Lord shall be with Messiah forever! We have been released from our bondage in sin, and the fear of death. Hallelujah (pg. 11)!"
A tradition of the Passover is the reciting of four questions performed by a child. Usually after this a responsive reading of Exodus 12:1-13 is led by the head. This is where the plagues are remembered. The significance of the blood on the doorposts and lintels is mentioned at this time.
Mr. Nadler points out in The Messianic Haggadah that:
"God was looking for a sign; for He was not going to redeem people merely of the flesh, but people of faith. The blood had to be applied for judgement to 'pass over' their homes. The blood applied as the Scriptures prescribes makes for a sign of redemption that speaks of great redemption from a far more terrible judgement that sign takes our attention to 100 B.C. and Psalm 22:16... They pierced My hands and My feet, describing how Messiah would die. That sign then takes our attention to 700 B.C. and Isaiah 53:7, He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, describing Messiah's identification with the Passover Lamb in His death.
Finally, our attention comes to Golgotha, Calvary, where the Messiah Yeshua, the true lamb of God was nailed to the executioner's stake and God fulfilled His promise for our eternal redemption.
Whether it was Abraham, Moses, David, or Isaiah, people have alwaya been redeemed the same way, at all times: by faith (Gen. 15:6). Prior to Messiah's coming, people had faith that anticipated what God would provide. After Messiah's coming and in our day, people have faith that appropriates what God has provided: All with the same faith trusting Yeshua, the centerpiece of history (Nadler, 14-15)."
Next Zoroah (the shankbone of the Lamb) is mentioned. It is on the Seder plate as a reminder of the last and final sacrifice that was made for our redemption, THE Lamb. The Zoroah means literally 'arm' or 'the arm of the Lord that delivers us from bondage forever.' The second Cup ends with a blessing and a drink of the second cup.
After the Second cup a meal is eaten which is called Shulcan Orech.
Third Cup Section
The Third cup stands for redemption. The children look for the Afikomen, and whoever finds it receives a reward from the Head of the household. Then everyone takes and eats part of the Afikomen which is the broken Matzah. This is the last bite of food that is taken as a reminder of the Passover Lamb, the last sacrifice for our redemption. For those who do not recognize the Messiah this part is a reminder of the redemption out of Egypt, but for those who are Christians the broken Afikomen is eaten in rememberance of Him. A blessing is recited. After the head leads with more responsive reading, this time about the New Covenant, another blessing is said over the third cup.
I hope you can see what the third cup section is. Every time that one participate in the Lord's Supper or Communion you are taking part in the Third cup section of the Passover. This is significant. As Nadler states in The Messianic Passover Haggadah,
"this bread and third cup remind us of the eternal relationship we have with our God, that we know Him, not merely know about Him. To know Him is relationship; to merely know about Him is religion. But how do we know Him, by way of the first two cups.
At the first cup, the broken Afikomen pictured that God would provide for our redemption. We could never redeem ourselves, but God alone would provide The Lamb...
At the second cup we recognize that the lamb was not only to be slain, but that the blood has to be applied to the door. If all the lambs of Egypt were slain but the blood unapplied, there would have been no Passover and no redemption.
So also, the fact that Messiah has been slain for our redemption does us no good, unless 'the blood has been applied.' By trusting in Messiah's sacrifice, we apply His blood as atonement to our heart's door. This is how we come to the third cup, the place of remembering the relationship we have by faith in Messiah, the provision of God (Nadler, 19)."
Fourth Cup Section
THe final cup is called the Hallel which means praise or Elijah's cup. In most homes that celebrate Passover this is the time that Elijah's seat is recognized as empty, and that neither he not the Messiah will come this year. They say: "La Shana Haba'ah B'Yerushalaim," meaning "Next year in Jerusalem." They have to wait another year for Hope to arrive, never understanding that He has already come. For the Christian this time is ended in praise and rejoicing for the coming time of Messiah's return. The final cup is blessed and drunk, and with joy the people look forward to being with the Lord in the New Jerusalem. The head of the household closes the Seder meal in prayer.
I hope that you see more clearly Jesus in the Passover. I know when I had the opportunity to first go to a Messianic Passover Seder and we got to the third cup section I got so excited to realize and comprehend more fully the significance of the Lord's Supper that we, Gentile Christians, celebrate. My hope is that you too will be excited at the significance of the Pasover as it relates to the Lord's Supper, and the importance that it has on life, our redemption from death's bondage that was paid by the atoning Blood of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. He paid a price we could not pay, and He paid a price He did not owe. What joy we should have in our hearts because of the Sacrifice of One Lamb, the Lamb of God.
Works cited:
Nadler, Sam. The Messianic Passover Haggadah. Word of Messiah Ministreis, 2000. Charlotte, NC
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Jesus the Passover Lamb, Part 2
Each household was to take a lamb on the tenth of the month (Nisan) for the purpose of guarding the household from death. Blood from the slaughtered lamb was to be put on the doorposts and lintel of the home as a sign to the Angel of Death to pass over the home. The Blood was a sign to the destroyer of the redemptive sacrifice that was made for the home, and like that sign of the blood on the doorpost, the redemptive blood of God's sacrifice, Jesus Christ, His firstborn and only Son, was made for ALL who accept Him as Savior and Lord. It is a sign of the pass over from death His blood freely gave us with all fullnes of mercy and grace. For those who have accepted Christ as their Savior, we have been marked by Christ's bloood, which covers us with his sufficient grace. Without the sign of the blood upon our lives we are lost without hope and in turn are left to the chains of eternal bondage that death imposes upon the lost, hardened heart.
Today, Messianic and non-messianic Jews, celebrate Passover in remberance of the deliverance or Exodus out of Egypt. In Exodus 12:24-25 the people are given a command by God to observe the Passover feast forever. Verse 27 states: "you shall say 'It is a Passover sacrifice to the LORD who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, but spared our homes. '" For the most part the Jewish nation, as a whole, has kept the ordinance. However, among those who do observe Passover, there is a difference: whether or not they recognize Jesus, Yeshua, as the promised Messiah of Old Testament Scripture.
Preparations for Passover are very strict and thorough. The actual meal itself is called a Seder. Homes are prepared with the removal of unleavened bread. During the seven days of Passover only unleavened bread is to be eaten. Unleavened bread is bread without yeast. The unleavened bread symbolizes the haste in which the Israelites came out of Egypt. They were even told to eat with their loins girded (meaning their outer robe was to be tucked into their belt), their sandals on their feet and staff in hand. They were to be ready to travel, to leave, on a moments notice. The unleavened bread also has a Scriptural meaning. Leaven represents pride, sin and unbelief. The unleaven bread represents a purification from defilement of pride, sin and unbelief.
There were specific instructions on the preparation of the lamb. First, it was to be a year old lamb without blemish. The lamb actually represents Christ and His sacrificial atonement for sin; He was without blemish or in other word without sin. The Israelites were given a specific time span on when to kill the lamb. As mentioned earlier they were instructed to place the blood on the doorposts and lintels. Of course finding an unblemished lamb is difficult today for a modern observation of the Passover due to the urbanization of families.
Preparations in the heart also had to be made. Just like Gentile Christians, Messianinc Jews are under the New Covenant. (Messianic Jews are Jews who recognize and believe in their hearts that Jesus Christ was and is who He says He was, i.e. the Messiah.) The New Covenant emphasizes that unconfessed sin and pride (leaven) defiles the soul and disrupts our relationship with God. Any unconfessed sin or pride causes us to miss out on the blessings of God that He has promised we will have.
In Corinthians 5:6-8 we see the words: "Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavned. For Christ, our Passover also has been sacrificed. Therefore let us celebrate the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with unleavened bread of sincerity and truth." The blood that was placed on the doorposts and lintels signifies that the household had been purged of overy unclean thing meaning preparations had been made of cleaning out any and all leaven in the household. Our hearts must be purged of any sin. Acknowledging our sins to God and accepting His Son as Savior satisfies the condition of ridding our life of the leaven, but we still need to confess any sin in our life, because it keeps us from being in the right relationship with the Father. Christ's sacrifice, and our acceptance of Him as Lord and Savior, makes us unleavened since we are covered by the blood He shed on the cross.
Prepearions of the Hearld are also made in the home that is celebrating Passover. This means that the head of the house sits across from an empty seat in hope that Elijah, the prophet, will come heralding the coming of the Messiah. Sadly non-messianic Jews continue to wait for Elijah, when John the Baptist, who came in the spirit and power of Elijah (Luke 1:17) has already heralded the Lamb of God (John 1:29).
The actual Seder meal is divided into four parts. The Seder begins with the woman of the household reciting a blessing and lighting candles. The blessing (Messianic form ) states: "Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who has sanctified us through faith in Yeshua the Messiah, the Light of the world, and in His Name we kindle the Passover Lights." The head of the household then begins the Seder making sure that everyone present has a cup of the "fruit of the vine" (grape juice or wine). The cup of the "fruit of the vine" has great significance in that it is drunk a total of 4 specific times during the Seder as a remembrance of the blessings of redemption from Exodus 6:6-7.
First Cup Section
The First Cup Section signifies Sanctification. The first cup is blessed with a recitation of a blessing. "Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine." Then the Urchatz or washing of hands is performed in which the head of the household leads. At the Last Supper Jesus himself girded with a towel began to wash the Disciples feet and then wiped their feet with the towel (John 13:5). Throughout the First cup the head of the household leads the people with a series of recitations from Scripture. The head leads with a comment and verse and is followed by the others in attendance reading from the Haggadah (like an order of service).
Next they eat the Karpas (parsley or celery dipped in salt water). Eating the bitter herbs is done to identify with the bondage and the redemption from the bondage. The Karpas is eaten after another blessing and then the head leads in more recitation. The final part of the First Cup is the Echad. The Echad stands for unity and is signified by the threefold Matzah plate. The head takes out the middle piece of bread and breaks it in half, and then takes one half to place back on the plate, and the other piece, the Afikomen, in a napkin which he hides, only to be found by a child during the third cup. The Afikomen is hidden until the third cup because this signifies that the Messiah was raised on the third day. The head leads in the final recitation of the first cup and ends with "Glory to God for Yeshua is our Echad, even salvation in our Unity", followed by the people: "Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethern to dwell together in Unity."
Tomorow, part 3
Today, Messianic and non-messianic Jews, celebrate Passover in remberance of the deliverance or Exodus out of Egypt. In Exodus 12:24-25 the people are given a command by God to observe the Passover feast forever. Verse 27 states: "you shall say 'It is a Passover sacrifice to the LORD who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, but spared our homes. '" For the most part the Jewish nation, as a whole, has kept the ordinance. However, among those who do observe Passover, there is a difference: whether or not they recognize Jesus, Yeshua, as the promised Messiah of Old Testament Scripture.
Preparations for Passover are very strict and thorough. The actual meal itself is called a Seder. Homes are prepared with the removal of unleavened bread. During the seven days of Passover only unleavened bread is to be eaten. Unleavened bread is bread without yeast. The unleavened bread symbolizes the haste in which the Israelites came out of Egypt. They were even told to eat with their loins girded (meaning their outer robe was to be tucked into their belt), their sandals on their feet and staff in hand. They were to be ready to travel, to leave, on a moments notice. The unleavened bread also has a Scriptural meaning. Leaven represents pride, sin and unbelief. The unleaven bread represents a purification from defilement of pride, sin and unbelief.
There were specific instructions on the preparation of the lamb. First, it was to be a year old lamb without blemish. The lamb actually represents Christ and His sacrificial atonement for sin; He was without blemish or in other word without sin. The Israelites were given a specific time span on when to kill the lamb. As mentioned earlier they were instructed to place the blood on the doorposts and lintels. Of course finding an unblemished lamb is difficult today for a modern observation of the Passover due to the urbanization of families.
Preparations in the heart also had to be made. Just like Gentile Christians, Messianinc Jews are under the New Covenant. (Messianic Jews are Jews who recognize and believe in their hearts that Jesus Christ was and is who He says He was, i.e. the Messiah.) The New Covenant emphasizes that unconfessed sin and pride (leaven) defiles the soul and disrupts our relationship with God. Any unconfessed sin or pride causes us to miss out on the blessings of God that He has promised we will have.
In Corinthians 5:6-8 we see the words: "Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavned. For Christ, our Passover also has been sacrificed. Therefore let us celebrate the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with unleavened bread of sincerity and truth." The blood that was placed on the doorposts and lintels signifies that the household had been purged of overy unclean thing meaning preparations had been made of cleaning out any and all leaven in the household. Our hearts must be purged of any sin. Acknowledging our sins to God and accepting His Son as Savior satisfies the condition of ridding our life of the leaven, but we still need to confess any sin in our life, because it keeps us from being in the right relationship with the Father. Christ's sacrifice, and our acceptance of Him as Lord and Savior, makes us unleavened since we are covered by the blood He shed on the cross.
Prepearions of the Hearld are also made in the home that is celebrating Passover. This means that the head of the house sits across from an empty seat in hope that Elijah, the prophet, will come heralding the coming of the Messiah. Sadly non-messianic Jews continue to wait for Elijah, when John the Baptist, who came in the spirit and power of Elijah (Luke 1:17) has already heralded the Lamb of God (John 1:29).
The actual Seder meal is divided into four parts. The Seder begins with the woman of the household reciting a blessing and lighting candles. The blessing (Messianic form ) states: "Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who has sanctified us through faith in Yeshua the Messiah, the Light of the world, and in His Name we kindle the Passover Lights." The head of the household then begins the Seder making sure that everyone present has a cup of the "fruit of the vine" (grape juice or wine). The cup of the "fruit of the vine" has great significance in that it is drunk a total of 4 specific times during the Seder as a remembrance of the blessings of redemption from Exodus 6:6-7.
First Cup Section
The First Cup Section signifies Sanctification. The first cup is blessed with a recitation of a blessing. "Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine." Then the Urchatz or washing of hands is performed in which the head of the household leads. At the Last Supper Jesus himself girded with a towel began to wash the Disciples feet and then wiped their feet with the towel (John 13:5). Throughout the First cup the head of the household leads the people with a series of recitations from Scripture. The head leads with a comment and verse and is followed by the others in attendance reading from the Haggadah (like an order of service).
Next they eat the Karpas (parsley or celery dipped in salt water). Eating the bitter herbs is done to identify with the bondage and the redemption from the bondage. The Karpas is eaten after another blessing and then the head leads in more recitation. The final part of the First Cup is the Echad. The Echad stands for unity and is signified by the threefold Matzah plate. The head takes out the middle piece of bread and breaks it in half, and then takes one half to place back on the plate, and the other piece, the Afikomen, in a napkin which he hides, only to be found by a child during the third cup. The Afikomen is hidden until the third cup because this signifies that the Messiah was raised on the third day. The head leads in the final recitation of the first cup and ends with "Glory to God for Yeshua is our Echad, even salvation in our Unity", followed by the people: "Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethern to dwell together in Unity."
Tomorow, part 3
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Jesus in the Passover
This article was originally written for our Adult class newsletter (published April, 2001) at our former church. My husband and I use to teach an adult class and part of the way we ministered to our class members was through a monthly newsletter. It gave me a chance to do what I love...write, and share a few tidbits. Hope you enjoy it. This will be a 3 part series! .....Oh....I'm back....more on that later....
Revised addition: Part 1
I have often heard the comment that the Old Testament is not relevant to the New Testament Church. I beg to differ. Without the Old Testament the New Testament is without full contextual meaning, and without the New Testament, the Law of the Old Testament has no fulfillment. Jesus is the fulfillment of the Old Testament Law and Jesus is the promised realized in the New Testament. Even though we are no longer under the law, but under grace, a full understanding of God's love for us cannot be obtained without first looking to the Old Testament Scriptures. Jesus Christ is all thoughout the Old Testament. He is present at Creation. He is also known as the Angel of the Lord throughout the Old Testament Scriptures. He is the Branch of David in Jeremiah. He is the Suffering Servant in Isaiah 53. He is the promised Messiah, our Passover Lamb.
The Jewish people were in bondage to the Egyptians for 100s of years. Whereas, the Jews were once in Egypt with blessing, the Jews of the Exodus were at that time under persecution and hardship. The Jews, with Joseph gone, were seen as a threat to the nation of Egypt by the new Pharoah because they were great in number as a result of God's blessing upon them. The Pharoah appointed taskmasters over the people of Israel, and imposed hard labor onto them thinking that this would decrease their number. However, it did not (see Ex. 1:12). No matter the attempt to decrease their number, the Jewish Nation continued to grow. No man can deter the hand of God.
Because of a mother's faith, a child, Moses, was saved from death and came to live within Pharoah's household (see Ex. Chapter 2). Moses, who grew up in affluence and wealth, was later on the run for his life, because of the murder he had committed and had tried to cover up. He came to the land of Midian and found refuge there with the family of Jethro, who was the Priest of Midian. Jethro was to eventually become Moses's father-in-law.
Moses had a lifechanging experience with God on the mountain of God (Horeb) as a result of the nonconsuming fire of the burning bush and his encounter with the Angel of the LORD, Christ of the OT (Exodus chp. 3). God had seen the affliction of His people, and came down to Moses to give him a mission to deliver the people out of the bondage of slavery.
God sent down plagues throughout Egypt. The Pharoah did not recognize the God of Israel and his heart was hardened in spite of the horrible plagues. God allowed pestilence to cover the land and His people too. The last plague was the turning point for Pharoah and the Jewish nation. God gave specific instructions to Moses concerning the last plague in order to protect the people, and as a means to reveal the Messiah.
Passover was ordained by God. It shows clearly the redemption and deliverenace from death that only God can bring. Each Jewish household had to prepare their homes, their hearts, and the Passover Lamb in accordance to God's specific instruction. There were no shortcuts! Period! God had declared that all the firstborn thoughout the land would be killed unless these instructions were followed. God have the Jews a means of protection to escape the impending sentence of death for the firstborn that even the animals would not be spared. God did this in order for His people to understand the distinction between Israel and Egypt. The people of Israel were God's Chosen People, and He wanted them to understand that fact. He chose them out of all the people groups He had created in order to bring to ALL people the ultimate form of deliverance and redemption, His Son, Jesus Christ, the Passover Lamb.
Part 2 Thursday 4-1-10
Revised addition: Part 1
I have often heard the comment that the Old Testament is not relevant to the New Testament Church. I beg to differ. Without the Old Testament the New Testament is without full contextual meaning, and without the New Testament, the Law of the Old Testament has no fulfillment. Jesus is the fulfillment of the Old Testament Law and Jesus is the promised realized in the New Testament. Even though we are no longer under the law, but under grace, a full understanding of God's love for us cannot be obtained without first looking to the Old Testament Scriptures. Jesus Christ is all thoughout the Old Testament. He is present at Creation. He is also known as the Angel of the Lord throughout the Old Testament Scriptures. He is the Branch of David in Jeremiah. He is the Suffering Servant in Isaiah 53. He is the promised Messiah, our Passover Lamb.
The Jewish people were in bondage to the Egyptians for 100s of years. Whereas, the Jews were once in Egypt with blessing, the Jews of the Exodus were at that time under persecution and hardship. The Jews, with Joseph gone, were seen as a threat to the nation of Egypt by the new Pharoah because they were great in number as a result of God's blessing upon them. The Pharoah appointed taskmasters over the people of Israel, and imposed hard labor onto them thinking that this would decrease their number. However, it did not (see Ex. 1:12). No matter the attempt to decrease their number, the Jewish Nation continued to grow. No man can deter the hand of God.
Because of a mother's faith, a child, Moses, was saved from death and came to live within Pharoah's household (see Ex. Chapter 2). Moses, who grew up in affluence and wealth, was later on the run for his life, because of the murder he had committed and had tried to cover up. He came to the land of Midian and found refuge there with the family of Jethro, who was the Priest of Midian. Jethro was to eventually become Moses's father-in-law.
Moses had a lifechanging experience with God on the mountain of God (Horeb) as a result of the nonconsuming fire of the burning bush and his encounter with the Angel of the LORD, Christ of the OT (Exodus chp. 3). God had seen the affliction of His people, and came down to Moses to give him a mission to deliver the people out of the bondage of slavery.
God sent down plagues throughout Egypt. The Pharoah did not recognize the God of Israel and his heart was hardened in spite of the horrible plagues. God allowed pestilence to cover the land and His people too. The last plague was the turning point for Pharoah and the Jewish nation. God gave specific instructions to Moses concerning the last plague in order to protect the people, and as a means to reveal the Messiah.
Passover was ordained by God. It shows clearly the redemption and deliverenace from death that only God can bring. Each Jewish household had to prepare their homes, their hearts, and the Passover Lamb in accordance to God's specific instruction. There were no shortcuts! Period! God had declared that all the firstborn thoughout the land would be killed unless these instructions were followed. God have the Jews a means of protection to escape the impending sentence of death for the firstborn that even the animals would not be spared. God did this in order for His people to understand the distinction between Israel and Egypt. The people of Israel were God's Chosen People, and He wanted them to understand that fact. He chose them out of all the people groups He had created in order to bring to ALL people the ultimate form of deliverance and redemption, His Son, Jesus Christ, the Passover Lamb.
Part 2 Thursday 4-1-10
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Who Knew?
Who knew that keeping up with a blog, running a home business, home schooling and now trying to sell our home could keep me from spending at least two times a week writing on this blog. ROFL! Life; that is it!
Not too long ago an old friend of mine sent me a Wonder Woman gift on Facebook. Believe me I do not feel like a Wonder Woman. Far from it! My kids and my husband would be the first ones to say: "Are you Kidding?" Wonder Woman is suppose to be able to solve all the problems of those around her, have strength, agility, smarts, and look fabulous all the time. That DOES NOT describe me. BY NO MEANS!
Some days I just don't put on the makeup! Now I do brush my teeth, get out of my jammies, and brush my hair, cook my kids their breakfast, teach them from home 5 days a week, and squeeze my work in between!
But you know what? I'm just like you or any wife, mother or person that you know. You see I mess up; lots. I try to do what I can each day in hopes of accomplishing everything on my to do list.
BIG SURPRISE!
I don't!
Yeah....you too, huh!
Simply put, we are humans; people with faults, time constraints, surprises, and seemingly unending disorganization no matter what we do to keep from being disorganized. I take a comment wrong, I say the wrong thing, I just goof up! There it is...LIFE. IT always gets in the way.
Your child gets sick, you get sick, a friend needs your help, a family crisis or you are just over stressed, over tired, and over worked. Again....LIFE!
But what is the key to handling it all? How you react to your present situation.
It is all about training yourself to wait, reassess your situation, think a little more, and then react or respond. Yeah, you will miss up, but it is okay. But there will be days, 'oh glorious days', that everything seems to go into place.
We learn , we grow, and we learn to say we are sorry. We even learn the act of forgiving our own misgivings or those who have hurt us.
You have too! It is...Life!
How are you going to live your life today? Choose to live it to the full and with wisdom!
Not too long ago an old friend of mine sent me a Wonder Woman gift on Facebook. Believe me I do not feel like a Wonder Woman. Far from it! My kids and my husband would be the first ones to say: "Are you Kidding?" Wonder Woman is suppose to be able to solve all the problems of those around her, have strength, agility, smarts, and look fabulous all the time. That DOES NOT describe me. BY NO MEANS!
Some days I just don't put on the makeup! Now I do brush my teeth, get out of my jammies, and brush my hair, cook my kids their breakfast, teach them from home 5 days a week, and squeeze my work in between!
But you know what? I'm just like you or any wife, mother or person that you know. You see I mess up; lots. I try to do what I can each day in hopes of accomplishing everything on my to do list.
BIG SURPRISE!
I don't!
Yeah....you too, huh!
Simply put, we are humans; people with faults, time constraints, surprises, and seemingly unending disorganization no matter what we do to keep from being disorganized. I take a comment wrong, I say the wrong thing, I just goof up! There it is...LIFE. IT always gets in the way.
Your child gets sick, you get sick, a friend needs your help, a family crisis or you are just over stressed, over tired, and over worked. Again....LIFE!
But what is the key to handling it all? How you react to your present situation.
It is all about training yourself to wait, reassess your situation, think a little more, and then react or respond. Yeah, you will miss up, but it is okay. But there will be days, 'oh glorious days', that everything seems to go into place.
We learn , we grow, and we learn to say we are sorry. We even learn the act of forgiving our own misgivings or those who have hurt us.
You have too! It is...Life!
How are you going to live your life today? Choose to live it to the full and with wisdom!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sanctity of Life: Abigail's Legacy
In February of 1999, I had a routine sonogram scheduled to see our unborn baby. My husband, Billy, and I were very excited and filled with anticipation of seeing this new life that was forming inside of me.
Shock is not the word to describe our heartbreak; it was more like distraught numbness as we heard the doctor tell us that our sweet baby had no hope of living due to a neural tube defect called anencephaly. Our world was shattered! Our life was turned upside down!
We were appalled at the suggestion of taking our child's life, since it was still a legal possibility in our state. I remember telling the attending doctor, through my tears, that there was no way I would take my baby’s life. I said to him, “God is the Author of life and I have no right to choose to take my baby’s life, and I will not do it. If He wants to take my baby’s life that is His decision and not mine to make!” My view of life comes from the knowledge of God that all life is precious and created for a purpose, no matter the circumstance of that life.
At this time I was about 3 months along in my pregnancy, and what was suppose to be a joyful moment had turned into a time of sadness and pain. The knowledge of her life inside of me and the dire prognosis of the outcome brought up a battle that raged inside of me. I had to face it every moment of every day.
I also knew I served a strong and mighty God, a God who could heal, but also a God who knew ultimately what His plan was for not only my life, but the life of this beautiful baby inside of me. We had not only the prayers of our family, friends, and church going forth on our behalf, but we had the prayers of people all over the world who were praying for us. It was amazing to feel those prayers of strength, hope and blessing upon our unborn baby, myself and my family. Those prayers helped both Billy and I press on to what God had called us to.
We wanted so much for God to create a miracle in the life of our baby. We prayed for her healing, but God began to move us to pray for His best to be done through this time whatever the outcome. We knew without a doubt He could heal, but we didn’t know what His call in this matter would be ultimately be.
It often made me angry when a couple of people would question my faith because I was not specifically praying for a miracle. It hurt! They had no idea what their words meant to me. They did not understand, instead of this being a faith stealer this was a faith giver of ultimate proportions.
I remember one particular time, while I was working on an Architectural Rendering project, I cried out to God and asked Him at the debts of my pain: “Why! God, I cannot do this anymore! I cannot continue going on with knowing what I know when I see my belly growing. I just don’t understand why You want us to go through this. I don’t want this!” But in the quiet of that room I heard His sweet soft whisper, “You are not going through this alone.” That is when I began to realize that God had chosen to allow us to go through this pain and yes, healing, in order that He could be glorified through it. I didn’t know how or even completely understand the why of it all, but on that day I became thankful to Him for allowing me the privilege of not only carrying this sweet baby, but allowing me to grow more into the person He was grooming me to be.
Believe me there where many moments of tears, and heartache as this human, motherly mind came to somewhat grasp that there was a possibility that I may not raise her. It grieved within my soul. But that time period of turmoil, growth, and moments of joy was what God had called me to go through. At the same time I was dealing with my heartache, Billy, was dealing with his own. Even through his pain God was moving incredibly through him. Billy was going through his own grooming.
Abigail Grace was born on Aug. 3, 1999. It was a bittersweet moment for us all as we realized that the healing we desired would not be. Abigail was indeed born with anencephaly, but our doctor was amazed to see how beautiful she was. Anencephalic babies normally are very deformed in their facial features. Except for Abigail’s forehead and the top of her skull, her other facial features were barely deformed. I was completely amazed myself because in my research I had seen pictures of babies extremely deformed. As expected Abigail could not see, hear or feel us touching her. With only a brain stem the ability to see, hear, and feel was not possible for her.
When she was born there was not a dry eye in the room. My mom, Marjorie, and Billy’s mom, Susie, were there to give us their love and support during her birth. Also the doctor that I had prayed would be there for her birth was able to be there. Not only was he a Christian, but our nurse was as well. In fact, her nurse’s shift was already well over, but she stayed to support us through Abigail’s birth. God had given us several miracles that day!
Holding her in my arms was the most precious thing to my heart, but I wanted to make sure that everyone who wanted to hold her did while we were blessed with her life. I had held her tight for 9 months and it was important to me for everyone to have some time with her. Throughout the hours after her birth she would peep out to the world, but mostly she kept her eyelids shut. It was sweet and sad at the same time because with those peeps her eyes lacked a focus.
That night she slept in the safety of her daddy’s arms.
The very next day she started showing signs of hunger. This surprised us as she wasn’t supposed to be able to feel hunger. Everyone left the room to give us time to see if she would nurse. In those last moments it was the three of us: Billy, Abigail and me. Her big sister, Morressa, had already had some time with her as best as a 2 year old could with a newborn. It was not long before I realized that our hopes of nursing her would be impossible. Since she did not have a complete brain the connections could not be made that would allow her to nurse. A moment later, as I was holding her in my arms, she turned her head toward us as though she heard our voices. It was then that she opened her eyes to really look at us. A few labored breaths later she took her last breath as she left this earth to go home to Heaven.
Some would say that those last moments we experienced with her was a reflex as she was dying, but I choose to believe that in those last moments God gave us one last gift of her seeing, hearing and feeling us love her with all our hearts. She knew that as she left us and went onward into the glorious presence of Jesus that she was loved beyond measure, all because we gave her a chance to live.
We had the miracle God meant for us to have.
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in the secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me. When as yet there were none of them.” Psalms 139: 13-16 NKJV
Copyright 2009 Latanya Wagner
Shock is not the word to describe our heartbreak; it was more like distraught numbness as we heard the doctor tell us that our sweet baby had no hope of living due to a neural tube defect called anencephaly. Our world was shattered! Our life was turned upside down!
We were appalled at the suggestion of taking our child's life, since it was still a legal possibility in our state. I remember telling the attending doctor, through my tears, that there was no way I would take my baby’s life. I said to him, “God is the Author of life and I have no right to choose to take my baby’s life, and I will not do it. If He wants to take my baby’s life that is His decision and not mine to make!” My view of life comes from the knowledge of God that all life is precious and created for a purpose, no matter the circumstance of that life.
At this time I was about 3 months along in my pregnancy, and what was suppose to be a joyful moment had turned into a time of sadness and pain. The knowledge of her life inside of me and the dire prognosis of the outcome brought up a battle that raged inside of me. I had to face it every moment of every day.
I also knew I served a strong and mighty God, a God who could heal, but also a God who knew ultimately what His plan was for not only my life, but the life of this beautiful baby inside of me. We had not only the prayers of our family, friends, and church going forth on our behalf, but we had the prayers of people all over the world who were praying for us. It was amazing to feel those prayers of strength, hope and blessing upon our unborn baby, myself and my family. Those prayers helped both Billy and I press on to what God had called us to.
We wanted so much for God to create a miracle in the life of our baby. We prayed for her healing, but God began to move us to pray for His best to be done through this time whatever the outcome. We knew without a doubt He could heal, but we didn’t know what His call in this matter would be ultimately be.
It often made me angry when a couple of people would question my faith because I was not specifically praying for a miracle. It hurt! They had no idea what their words meant to me. They did not understand, instead of this being a faith stealer this was a faith giver of ultimate proportions.
I remember one particular time, while I was working on an Architectural Rendering project, I cried out to God and asked Him at the debts of my pain: “Why! God, I cannot do this anymore! I cannot continue going on with knowing what I know when I see my belly growing. I just don’t understand why You want us to go through this. I don’t want this!” But in the quiet of that room I heard His sweet soft whisper, “You are not going through this alone.” That is when I began to realize that God had chosen to allow us to go through this pain and yes, healing, in order that He could be glorified through it. I didn’t know how or even completely understand the why of it all, but on that day I became thankful to Him for allowing me the privilege of not only carrying this sweet baby, but allowing me to grow more into the person He was grooming me to be.
Believe me there where many moments of tears, and heartache as this human, motherly mind came to somewhat grasp that there was a possibility that I may not raise her. It grieved within my soul. But that time period of turmoil, growth, and moments of joy was what God had called me to go through. At the same time I was dealing with my heartache, Billy, was dealing with his own. Even through his pain God was moving incredibly through him. Billy was going through his own grooming.
Abigail Grace was born on Aug. 3, 1999. It was a bittersweet moment for us all as we realized that the healing we desired would not be. Abigail was indeed born with anencephaly, but our doctor was amazed to see how beautiful she was. Anencephalic babies normally are very deformed in their facial features. Except for Abigail’s forehead and the top of her skull, her other facial features were barely deformed. I was completely amazed myself because in my research I had seen pictures of babies extremely deformed. As expected Abigail could not see, hear or feel us touching her. With only a brain stem the ability to see, hear, and feel was not possible for her.
When she was born there was not a dry eye in the room. My mom, Marjorie, and Billy’s mom, Susie, were there to give us their love and support during her birth. Also the doctor that I had prayed would be there for her birth was able to be there. Not only was he a Christian, but our nurse was as well. In fact, her nurse’s shift was already well over, but she stayed to support us through Abigail’s birth. God had given us several miracles that day!
Holding her in my arms was the most precious thing to my heart, but I wanted to make sure that everyone who wanted to hold her did while we were blessed with her life. I had held her tight for 9 months and it was important to me for everyone to have some time with her. Throughout the hours after her birth she would peep out to the world, but mostly she kept her eyelids shut. It was sweet and sad at the same time because with those peeps her eyes lacked a focus.
That night she slept in the safety of her daddy’s arms.
The very next day she started showing signs of hunger. This surprised us as she wasn’t supposed to be able to feel hunger. Everyone left the room to give us time to see if she would nurse. In those last moments it was the three of us: Billy, Abigail and me. Her big sister, Morressa, had already had some time with her as best as a 2 year old could with a newborn. It was not long before I realized that our hopes of nursing her would be impossible. Since she did not have a complete brain the connections could not be made that would allow her to nurse. A moment later, as I was holding her in my arms, she turned her head toward us as though she heard our voices. It was then that she opened her eyes to really look at us. A few labored breaths later she took her last breath as she left this earth to go home to Heaven.
Some would say that those last moments we experienced with her was a reflex as she was dying, but I choose to believe that in those last moments God gave us one last gift of her seeing, hearing and feeling us love her with all our hearts. She knew that as she left us and went onward into the glorious presence of Jesus that she was loved beyond measure, all because we gave her a chance to live.
We had the miracle God meant for us to have.
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in the secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me. When as yet there were none of them.” Psalms 139: 13-16 NKJV
Copyright 2009 Latanya Wagner
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Story Behind Living Life with Grace Post
Last month I went by my son's school to close out his IEP. My son has special needs as classified by our local school system, but truthfully, at times, I forget that he is a little different from most kids his age. To me he is just Luke, what you see is what you get.
Background:
Luke was an answer to prayer for my husband and I. We had lost our first baby through miscarriage, and then were blessed with our oldest daughter. Then we lost a baby in 1999 as a result of Anencephaly, a neural tube defect. When I found out I was pregnant, after loosing our baby girl in 1999, what a relief it was when our little boy had no birth defects.
As Luke grew we relished all his successes and just the sweetness that he was (and still is). Luke was not the typical child. He didn't quite hit the growth milestones as he was suppose to, but the Doctor did not seem concerned, so we weren't. We just took it as Luke being who he is, nothing more, nothing less.
Instead of crawling Luke scooted on his little behind. We thought it was ingenious that he had decided to get around differently than other babies. We even got a lot of laughs out of seeing him get around. He was SOOOOOOO CUTE!
Luke also did not talk. We just figured he was a late bloomer. It wasn't until he was about 3 that he actually really started talking. My husband and I, along with his big sis, were about the only ones that could understand what he was saying and even then we had difficulty.
It wasn't until he was in school that we finally dicovered that his delayments were all because of something far beyond our control. For whatever reason God designed our boy a little different, a little unique, and filled with a whole lot of love and kindness of heart. He designed Luke to be Luke, a little boy who just learns a little different, and has some diffiultiy accomplishing a few tasks that we take for granted. Luke is also gifted with his unique prespective of the world. I am amzes everyday by him and how he sees the world. He is so much fun! (By the way, he talks ALL the time now!)
He has made milestones in the public school system, but I felt also that not everything was done to help him on his path to being all that he can be. So with the ending of this school year my husband and I chose to pull him out permanently to teach him from home.
And with that the reason why I was at school to close his IEP. I had already been looking for manipulatives to help Luke with his schooling from home. I was very excited to bring them with me to show his teachers, physical therapist, speech therapist, county school system psychologist and the school prinicipal. They were helpful and full encouragement for the seemingly huge task before me, all except for one. The Prinicipal was already not happy with me because the year before I had pulled our oldest daughter out of the system, and now I was doing the same thing with my son. After sharing with them briefly some of the things I was going to teach Luke this upcoming school year she just had to comment on my lack of considering creative writing. She commented that she seriously doubted my ability to take care of his learning needs.
Needless to say I was hot under the collar. Why would a school principal feel so highly of herslf as to right out insult a very capable parent?
My mother hen mentatlity was SOOOOO wanting to come out and just tell her what I thought of her and the public school system.
But...
I decided to handle it with grace and respond sternly, but with kindness, that I, as his mother, was fully capable of taking care of his learning needs, and that there was no way I could share in that brief time everything I was going to do with him. I told her I understood her concerns, and that I was going to do creative writing with Luke, but only when he was ready. I also told her I wanted him to feel successful, not incapable.
Not long after that I left.
After having to deal with a year of Luke feeling like he could not do his work, and not seeing more improvement as we were promised that he would have, I made a conscious decision to pull him out for his own good. I know there will be many days ahead filled with difficulty, but also there will be many, many successes for Luke. He will begin to see himself as someone who is capable of reading, writing, and arithmetic. And we will do it with grace, tears, hoorahs, and determination, because it is the right thing to do for our family, and most importantly for Luke.
Latanya
Background:
Luke was an answer to prayer for my husband and I. We had lost our first baby through miscarriage, and then were blessed with our oldest daughter. Then we lost a baby in 1999 as a result of Anencephaly, a neural tube defect. When I found out I was pregnant, after loosing our baby girl in 1999, what a relief it was when our little boy had no birth defects.
As Luke grew we relished all his successes and just the sweetness that he was (and still is). Luke was not the typical child. He didn't quite hit the growth milestones as he was suppose to, but the Doctor did not seem concerned, so we weren't. We just took it as Luke being who he is, nothing more, nothing less.
Instead of crawling Luke scooted on his little behind. We thought it was ingenious that he had decided to get around differently than other babies. We even got a lot of laughs out of seeing him get around. He was SOOOOOOO CUTE!
Luke also did not talk. We just figured he was a late bloomer. It wasn't until he was about 3 that he actually really started talking. My husband and I, along with his big sis, were about the only ones that could understand what he was saying and even then we had difficulty.
It wasn't until he was in school that we finally dicovered that his delayments were all because of something far beyond our control. For whatever reason God designed our boy a little different, a little unique, and filled with a whole lot of love and kindness of heart. He designed Luke to be Luke, a little boy who just learns a little different, and has some diffiultiy accomplishing a few tasks that we take for granted. Luke is also gifted with his unique prespective of the world. I am amzes everyday by him and how he sees the world. He is so much fun! (By the way, he talks ALL the time now!)
He has made milestones in the public school system, but I felt also that not everything was done to help him on his path to being all that he can be. So with the ending of this school year my husband and I chose to pull him out permanently to teach him from home.
And with that the reason why I was at school to close his IEP. I had already been looking for manipulatives to help Luke with his schooling from home. I was very excited to bring them with me to show his teachers, physical therapist, speech therapist, county school system psychologist and the school prinicipal. They were helpful and full encouragement for the seemingly huge task before me, all except for one. The Prinicipal was already not happy with me because the year before I had pulled our oldest daughter out of the system, and now I was doing the same thing with my son. After sharing with them briefly some of the things I was going to teach Luke this upcoming school year she just had to comment on my lack of considering creative writing. She commented that she seriously doubted my ability to take care of his learning needs.
Needless to say I was hot under the collar. Why would a school principal feel so highly of herslf as to right out insult a very capable parent?
My mother hen mentatlity was SOOOOO wanting to come out and just tell her what I thought of her and the public school system.
But...
I decided to handle it with grace and respond sternly, but with kindness, that I, as his mother, was fully capable of taking care of his learning needs, and that there was no way I could share in that brief time everything I was going to do with him. I told her I understood her concerns, and that I was going to do creative writing with Luke, but only when he was ready. I also told her I wanted him to feel successful, not incapable.
Not long after that I left.
After having to deal with a year of Luke feeling like he could not do his work, and not seeing more improvement as we were promised that he would have, I made a conscious decision to pull him out for his own good. I know there will be many days ahead filled with difficulty, but also there will be many, many successes for Luke. He will begin to see himself as someone who is capable of reading, writing, and arithmetic. And we will do it with grace, tears, hoorahs, and determination, because it is the right thing to do for our family, and most importantly for Luke.
Latanya
Where did I go?
Oops, I do not know what happened to me! I really don't!
Where did I go this month? Boy did I get sidetracked!
Do you ever get those moments when you just don't do what you need to do? I kept telling myself that I needed to get on this blog and write.
Do you see the date? Yikes!
Well, I am back! Hopefully I WILL NOT get sidetracked again. You are laughing! You know what? I am too!
I will post a REAL blog post in just a few minutes. You see I just got up and there are things I need to do before I am ready to really think!
See you in a bit! Hopefully I won't get sidetracked!
Latanya
Where did I go this month? Boy did I get sidetracked!
Do you ever get those moments when you just don't do what you need to do? I kept telling myself that I needed to get on this blog and write.
Do you see the date? Yikes!
Well, I am back! Hopefully I WILL NOT get sidetracked again. You are laughing! You know what? I am too!
I will post a REAL blog post in just a few minutes. You see I just got up and there are things I need to do before I am ready to really think!
See you in a bit! Hopefully I won't get sidetracked!
Latanya
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