Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Story Behind Living Life with Grace Post

Last month I went by my son's school to close out his IEP. My son has special needs as classified by our local school system, but truthfully, at times, I forget that he is a little different from most kids his age. To me he is just Luke, what you see is what you get.

Background:
Luke was an answer to prayer for my husband and I. We had lost our first baby through miscarriage, and then were blessed with our oldest daughter. Then we lost a baby in 1999 as a result of Anencephaly, a neural tube defect. When I found out I was pregnant, after loosing our baby girl in 1999, what a relief it was when our little boy had no birth defects.

As Luke grew we relished all his successes and just the sweetness that he was (and still is). Luke was not the typical child. He didn't quite hit the growth milestones as he was suppose to, but the Doctor did not seem concerned, so we weren't. We just took it as Luke being who he is, nothing more, nothing less.

Instead of crawling Luke scooted on his little behind. We thought it was ingenious that he had decided to get around differently than other babies. We even got a lot of laughs out of seeing him get around. He was SOOOOOOO CUTE!

Luke also did not talk. We just figured he was a late bloomer. It wasn't until he was about 3 that he actually really started talking. My husband and I, along with his big sis, were about the only ones that could understand what he was saying and even then we had difficulty.

It wasn't until he was in school that we finally dicovered that his delayments were all because of something far beyond our control. For whatever reason God designed our boy a little different, a little unique, and filled with a whole lot of love and kindness of heart. He designed Luke to be Luke, a little boy who just learns a little different, and has some diffiultiy accomplishing a few tasks that we take for granted. Luke is also gifted with his unique prespective of the world. I am amzes everyday by him and how he sees the world. He is so much fun! (By the way, he talks ALL the time now!)

He has made milestones in the public school system, but I felt also that not everything was done to help him on his path to being all that he can be. So with the ending of this school year my husband and I chose to pull him out permanently to teach him from home.

And with that the reason why I was at school to close his IEP. I had already been looking for manipulatives to help Luke with his schooling from home. I was very excited to bring them with me to show his teachers, physical therapist, speech therapist, county school system psychologist and the school prinicipal. They were helpful and full encouragement for the seemingly huge task before me, all except for one. The Prinicipal was already not happy with me because the year before I had pulled our oldest daughter out of the system, and now I was doing the same thing with my son. After sharing with them briefly some of the things I was going to teach Luke this upcoming school year she just had to comment on my lack of considering creative writing. She commented that she seriously doubted my ability to take care of his learning needs.

Needless to say I was hot under the collar. Why would a school principal feel so highly of herslf as to right out insult a very capable parent?

My mother hen mentatlity was SOOOOO wanting to come out and just tell her what I thought of her and the public school system.

But...

I decided to handle it with grace and respond sternly, but with kindness, that I, as his mother, was fully capable of taking care of his learning needs, and that there was no way I could share in that brief time everything I was going to do with him. I told her I understood her concerns, and that I was going to do creative writing with Luke, but only when he was ready. I also told her I wanted him to feel successful, not incapable.

Not long after that I left.

After having to deal with a year of Luke feeling like he could not do his work, and not seeing more improvement as we were promised that he would have, I made a conscious decision to pull him out for his own good. I know there will be many days ahead filled with difficulty, but also there will be many, many successes for Luke. He will begin to see himself as someone who is capable of reading, writing, and arithmetic. And we will do it with grace, tears, hoorahs, and determination, because it is the right thing to do for our family, and most importantly for Luke.

Latanya

4 comments:

Sonya Lee Thompson said...

Dear Latanya,
Hooray for you! Following the Lord's leading of you to bring Luke home was the right decision.

You know, the public schools get paid for the special needs kids in their programs, that's probably why the principal was irritated with your pulling him out. Sad but typical.

I have a child with an iep whom I home educate. She is doing very well and I have NEVER regreted pulling her out when I did.

Another bit of encouragement. My oldest daughter struggled to learn how to read. She ended up not reading well until about age 10. I had times when I was so discouraged that I had to completely stop teaching her reading for about 6 weeks until my heart was ready to begin again.

In the end, she learned to read and now (at age 12) she tested out and is reading on an 11th grade level! Praise God! Not only is she testin well, but her desire to read is AMAZING! Over the past three weeks she has read 10 books! That' way more than I can read in that time. Praise God. By allowing her to struggle for so many years, He gave her an incredible desire to read that just blows my mind.

All that to say, try not to compare Luke to other kids "his age". Every time I would do that I would get all messed up. I had to encourage my daughter at times because she also would say, why can't I read as well as other kids my age. It was heart breaking at times, but I'm here to tell you victory is coming! Just hang in there.

Thanks for visiting my blog today! Sorry for the LONG post. Just a passion of mine. :)

Starr LaPradd said...

What a wonderful post! I wandered over here from Truth 4 The Journey.
I will be back again because I think you and I have alot in common!
I am a homeschool mom with 2 boys. One just graduated in May after 11 years of learning at home. I took him out of public school after first grade and I have NEVER regretted that decision. Neither has he. He has grown into a very fine young man who is seeking to serve the Lord with his career choice and is beginning college in a couple of months.
When I took him out of PS, the principal did the same number on me as you experienced. He actually went to church with us, so his reaction to my removal of my son from his school was shocking to me to say the least. Years later, he told me he saw that I had made the right decision and that blessed my heart tremendously!
I am now getting ready to start first grade with my 6 year old. Kindergarten went well for us.
I live in NC also!
Hope to get to know you better! I will be a regular reader of your blog, I'm sure!
Blessings,
Starr

Sonya Lee Thompson said...

Dear Latanya,

(This is the 3rd time I've tried to comment?)

I wanted to encourage you that homeschooling your son will be a blessing for him and for you! I also wanted to tell you that it doesn't matter at what age he starts to read, my oldest didn't read well until she was 10! She's 12 now and reading ALL THE TIME!

The hardest part for me was whenever I would start to compare her with other kids her age. Try to stay away from that one!

God bless you on this journey. :)

Fun Mom said...

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